I love summer. Yet the swimsuit season has always been my least favorite.

But keeping, not changing my standards, has made all the difference.

 

Each of us has a standard of what we think is decent when we are in public – the type of sleeve or length of pants that we have considered and decided we are comfortable in when out and about. Stop for a second and think about what that is for yourself.

For some it’s more; for some it’s less. This is pretty much the rule of dress that guides our lives every single day when we leave the house. You know what it is because we all have an embarrassing story like, “I can’t believe they dropped by my house and I was wearing THIS…”

Why it is then that this reasoned, normal, sensible, everyday standard that we decided upon is set aside because there is a pool of water nearby? I have never understood and it was the dread of most summers in high school.

 

 

Oddly, in the presence of water, the type of clothing I waited 20+ years to only wear in front of my husband, is acceptable to be worn in public.  As a person seeking to be modest, this always made me personally feel hypocritical. I would never do this in any other arena in my life. Why should I do something that would be grossly inappropriate anywhere else? Ever show up to the office in your swimsuit? Or pick up your kids from school? Don’t you get that mortified feeling just thinking about it in any other context? It’s the stuff nightmares are made of.

 

I’ve talked a lot about this with my husband to find a good solution. I value his voice for the male opinion and respect that he wants me to be respected and we both want to honor God with every ounce of us- as a spirit and a body.

So over time I’ve moved toward wearing to swim what looks like what I’d wear to run errands – a swimsuit under loose rash guard shirt and normal length board shorts. Pretty much like what I’d wear every other day of the summer, water present or not.

To me this just makes sense. I stay true to that standard I’d already decided upon before the summer swim season started. I feel less intrepid about appearing in public in basically my underwear.

 

And you know what? I suddenly never worry about what I’m wearing!

 

So logistically? I can run around, lean over, play with the kids, get my picture taken, get in and out of the water easily, more comfortably talk with other men around, (hide what I want to hide), and still look sporty. And bathing suit shopping is the worst!

 

What about a healthy emotional difference? Surprisingly, I feel less under the eye of judgment, from men, women or myself when every inch of me can’t be determined. And that is a great relief of stress. Honestly, I’m not sad or worried about my shape all the time or self-conscious. My mind is free to have more fun.

I think for many Christian ladies this will feel like a relief. I meet many who say, “Thanks! I thought I was all alone! I can never find a comfortable place on this spectrum of Christian women wearing bathing suits.” They literally heave out in relief because they hate the pressure and can’t find a good standard that’s also not too weird.

But the best part in this decision? I don’t feel legalistic. I feel comfortable with myself, pleasing to my husband, and available to my family. I feel more me. I also feel less likely to be drawing attention to myself as I want any attention to me to be toward my heart for God and His purposes I want to carry out.

 

 

So if you are still reading, here are some affirmations to my decision and changes after several years:

• If I am headed to a pool party and DO have to stop at the store, it’s no big deal. I look like I have a t-shirt and shorts on.
• We’ve been swimming with friends and I would never post anywhere family pictures because the other, rather modest moms, Do Not look flattering in the background. If you are not prepared for your picture to be taken in a swimsuit you are probably not standing or facing in a flattering or modest way. And I would not embarrass them by making those public. Consider, others will not be as considerate of this as me. In an instantly posted generation, we need to think about that.
• I am not constantly tugging up and pulling down to Maintain modesty. These movements, though well meaning, are also unintentionally attracting everyone’s attention by your tugging (and for some to focus on the very body part you are trying to cover up).
• I never get sunburn or even have to put suntan lotion much except for my face!
• I have joined the kids at the Y this for swim lessons and was not nervous about the grandmas who all have their cameras out!
• No more embarrassing moments, when my husband tells me LATER “Uh, your bathing suit needed adjusting when you were talking to the life guard…”

 

I usually go back to this example: if you were on trip with some other families and one of the other husbands passed a window and saw you in your underwear and bra (even a rather modest one) he’d likely feel awkward, you’d likely feel embarrassed, you’d might feel like something needs to be said, the spouses would hear about it, you might avoid each other; the trip might even be ruined for you all, right? But if you all met at the beach in bikinis it would be no problem. Why is this in our society? I just can’t make myself “get it.”

 

So while I may stand alone at times in my principles, I am standing comfortably. 

 

My heart wants to see people living at ease, and walking closely with Him. These are just my personal encouragements from an honest heart for any to consider. How will you lead by example and approach these issues with your children?

What is your standard? And would you feel better keeping it?

 

 

P.S. I first wrote about this topic a few years ago on another blog. I’m pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow and Land’s End aren’t following me….but have you noticed how much what I’m suggesting has become a trend the last few years?? Comfortable is cool now.

 

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